Cradle Watcher
by practical cynicism
Summary: Roxas joined the Organization expecting to be told to do only what he did best – exterminate Heartless. But when Xemnas orders him to babysit a three-year-old Axel, he didn’t really think that was part of the job description.
1. the child that never was

**Chapter 1: the child that never was**

Roxas stood outside Vexen's lab, anxiously waiting in front of the locked double doors. It was his first time to move about inside the castle after recovering from his last mission with Axel and Xigbar.

A failed mission.

Or at least, he assumed they must have failed, for him to wake up in his bed a week after the mission without any recollection of what had happened in the past seven days. Demyx had attempted to be reassuring ("Well, of _course_ you won't remember anything after falling from a thirty-foot building, landing on a stack of hay and slamming the back of your head onto the rear end of a horse. Hey, are you sure you still know who you are?"). Roxas also gathered—from Zexion, because Demyx's over-exaggerated secondhand narrations made his fingers itch to summon his Keyblades and slash the annoying sitar player's throat—that Xigbar had escaped with minimal injury, and was in fact the one who practically dragged the knocked-out Roxas and Axel back to their stronghold after single-handedly disposing of the unexpectedly powerful hordes of Heartless that had gone berserk on them.

Zexion said that Axel was pushed off the same building Roxas was, already half-unconscious after receiving a particularly debilitating blow from a stray Morning Star. Fortunately for him he landed in a fountain. Equally unfortunately for him, it was an unusually _¬deep_ fountain and Axel had nearly drowned.

Which explained why Roxas was here in the first place, frowning at the still-closed doors and wondering what in the thousand worlds had happened for Axel to _still_ be bedridden after all this time. As if confining him in Vexen's lab wasn't suspicious enough, in itself.

It cost him another hour of imitating a despondent statue before the doors finally opened. Roxas' eyes shot up, only to meet a pair of amber ones devoid of any considerable emotion. "Ah, Roxas. Come to collect Axel, have you?" Xemnas asked.

"Yes, sir." Roxas shifted uncomfortably, biting his lip when Xemnas made to turn away. "Is he okay? What happened to him? Why is he still locked up in there?" he blurted out, immediately regretting his outburst when Xemnas gave him a piercing stare.

"How…unusual," Xemnas murmured, his eyes hovering over Roxas' countenance in a way that made Roxas feel extremely small. "You are worried about him." It was a statement, not a question.

Roxas' face flushed slightly. "I… It's just that, he's my partner and—"

Xemnas held up one hand and Roxas immediately closed his mouth. "It's all right, child. All of us long for the same thing, do we not? To be able to feel again." He glanced up at the ceiling, spreading out his arms grandly, and Roxas feared that his Superior was going to subject him to another winding speech about the Organization's noble objectives and their dreams for the glorious future of Nobodies everywhere, et cetera, et cetera... "Soon. Soon, with our efforts, we shall complete our Kingdom Hearts and we will attain that which you most desire…"

Roxas cleared his throat, desperate to cut off Xemnas' monologue before he fell asleep standing up. "Uh…sir? May I request for permission to enter the lab?"

Xemnas slowly lowered his arms, gazing at Roxas as if he had never seen anything quite like him before. Then again, it was the first time that anyone had dared to interrupt one of his grandiose discourses. Roxas shrunk back, bracing himself for an appropriate punishment for his audacity, but Xemnas did nothing of the sort. "There is no need. If you are that anxious for another mission out on the field, I will assign you another partner. I believe Demyx would be eager to accompany you—"

"NO! I mean," Roxas amended when Xemnas shot him another sharp look, "I don't need a different partner. Axel's fine."

For a moment Roxas thought that the corner of Xemnas' mouth twitched, but he must have imagined it. "I see. Well. I thought it would be a problem, but since you are so insistent…"

"Sir?" Roxas blinked, not quite understanding what his Superior was getting at.

Xemnas ignored him and rapped briskly on the double doors. "Vexen! You may let him out. Roxas shall look after him."

"Wait…look after him?" Roxas repeated, his eyes darting from Xemnas to the door, where a very peeved Vexen was emerging.

"It's about time!" Vexen hissed, marching forward and grabbing Roxas by the arm. Roxas had never seen Number IV look so enraged before. "It's been an entire _week_; I was starting to think you would never wake up and leave that _stupid,_ snot-nosed _brat_ in our hands until Kingdom Hearts knows how long—"

"Patience, Vexen. He is not quite himself; you must allow—"

_"He nearly blew up my entire lab!"_ Vexen screamed, all the while shaking Roxas violently by the arm as if it were _his_ fault Vexen's sanctuary had narrowly avoided going up in flames. "_Three_ times, Xemnas, and that was in the past hour alone!"

Xemnas smiled wryly, not deigning to humor Vexen's complaints as he turned heel and sauntered down the hall without another word.

Vexen glared resentfully after him before sneering at Roxas. "No matter. He isn't _my_ problem anymore." And with that, he forcefully pushed a baffled Roxas into the room.

Roxas barely got through the doorway when he knocked his knee into something. He looked down. And gaped.

Two eyes stared back at him, bottle-green and watery and huge. They wavered and glistened and leaked two fat teardrops that slid down the tattoos just slightly beneath them, down slightly chubby cheeks and trembling, pouty lips. And then the lips parted, emitting a loud, high-pitched wail.

"Shut up shut up shut up!" Vexen shouted, pushing Roxas aside and grabbing the crying toddler by the shoulders. "If you break _another_ flask—"

"Vexen," Roxas said very, very quietly, his normally blank blue eyes widening in shock. "Is that _Axel?_"

The redheaded child stopped crying long enough to kick Vexen's shin, and Vexen howled, releasing his charge and clutching at his leg in agony. "You little demon!" Vexen spat, lifting said little demon by the scruff of his neck and shoving him into Roxas' arms. "Get him out of my sight!"

"But—" Roxas protested, wincing as the child wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck in a leech-like grip and stuck his tongue out at Vexen.

"Out! OUT!" Before Roxas could blink, he was kicked out of the lab, doors slamming behind him.

Roxas sighed, cradling the diminutive Axel into a more comfortable position against his chest. "What the hell did you do to yourself, Axel?"

Axel happily chewed on the drawstrings of Roxas' hood in response.

"How long is he going to stay like this?" Marluxia asked amusedly, raising a perfectly-plucked eyebrow as the three-year-old kid trotted around the Organization's common room, tripping over his little black Organization XIII cloak every other step.

"Awww, come here, iddy widdle Axie-waxie-poo!" Demyx cooed, squatting on the floor and beckoning Axel into his outstretched arms.

Larxene choked on her drink but managed to expertly throw one of her knives very close to Demyx's head whilst in a fit of hacking coughs. Demyx squeaked and toppled over. "Say something that disgusting again and it'll go right between your eyes next time," she threatened.

Demyx got onto his knees and reached out to Axel again, undeterred but now wisely silent. Axel took two steps towards him before changing his mind and running to Roxas, who was sitting on the couch.

Roxas sighed and pulled Axel into his lap, glancing at Marluxia. "Vexen's working on a cure right now. He says it'll take him a while…"

Larxene snickered and watched as Axel nibbled on his thumb. "So he literally fell into the Fountain of Youth? Do you _really_ think he'll become normal again just by drinking one of Vexen's toxic concoctions? You should consider finding yourself a new partner instead of babysitting, brat."

Axel's eyes lingered on Larxene's vicious smile and he started to sniffle, Roxas' arms unconsciously tightening around him. "Leave him alone, Larxene," Roxas warned.

"Ooh. You've got yourself a protective little daddy, have you, Number VIII?" Larxene cackled delightedly, swooping forward and painfully pinching Axel's rosy cheeks. Roxas glared and slapped her hands away as Axel whimpered. Larxene merely smirked. "And he bites, too."

Roxas said nothing, gently pushing Axel out of his lap and getting to his feet. "Come on, Axel," he sighed, taking one of Axel's tiny hands into his own.

"What, is it time for his daily potty-training session already?" Larxene mocked.

"It is? Hey, Roxas, want me to help?" Demyx bounced up eagerly, and Larxene tripped him.

Marluxia rolled his eyes—it seemed that it wasn't just Axel who lost his maturity in the past week.

"Idiot," Larxene told Demyx disdainfully. "Hey, brat!" she called out to the retreating pair. "You ever want a new partner, just say the word. I need some fresh meat to pick on."

Roxas stiffened but didn't turn around. "The Superior ordered me to look after him," he answered softly. Axel looked up at him and beamed.

_CRASH_

"Axel, stop throwing that around before you hurt yourself."

_SHATTER_

"Axel, _no._ Stay put. How many times do I have to—"

"Hee hee. It's okay, Roxas. Let him play! Axel as a kid is really cute!"

"Whatever you say… But I don't think it's a good idea to let him trample around your room like this…"

"Oh, I know! I should draw his picture! I'll give it to him later. Do you think he'd like that?"

_CRACKLE CRACKLE CRACKLE_

"Uh, Naminé, are those your drawings he's burning…?"

"Hm? What? AXEL, NO!"

Roxas sighed, contemplating the bowl of mashed-up vegetables in front of him. It looked disgusting. And inedible. Too bad Axel seemed to think so too.

"Dun wanna!" Axel screamed, slapping the incoming spoon with his palm and splattering vegetable goo all over Roxas' coat, face, and hair.

Roxas' eye twitched. "Axel, eat your food."

"No." Axel crossed his arms and pouted.

Roxas gritted his teeth. "Axel. Eat. Your. Food. Now."

Axel pushed the bowl further towards Roxas. "Tha's not food!" he retorted accusatorily.

The two engaged into a heated glaring match.

Axel won. But only because his face looked so funny all scrunched up like that that Roxas nearly, _nearly_ burst out laughing.

Roxas groaned and clutched at his head. No way was he going to let a _kid_ manipulate him. Even if it _was_ Axel, the only guy who could trick Roxas into doing what he wanted on a regular basis. It wouldn't be fair if Axel could still outsmart him while in the body and mental state of a three-year-old, too. "Axeeeeel, eat your food. Please?"

Axel shook his head vigorously, arms still crossed, spiky red locks flying. "Nuh uh!"

Roxas sighed again. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "_Pretty_ please?"

Axel scowled at him. "NO!"

Roxas scowled ferociously back, patience drastically thinning. "Axel, open your mouth and eat your _fucking_ food or I'll slit a new hole in your throat and _shove_ it in."

That did it. Axel opened his mouth…

…and broke into the biggest tantrum that Roxas had seen yet. Not counting the one he had when Roxas had refused to relinquish the box of matches he had been playing with in Naminé's room, or when Roxas didn't kiss the bump on his forehead after he smacked into the floor after stumbling over a slithering Dusk, or when…

"Crap crap crap crap _crap._" Roxas moaned, dodging the bowl of veggie chow that Axel flung at him. Roxas stared sadly at the state of his bedroom's once squeaky clean white floors, wishing that the Castle That Never Was had a dining room. A castle that big ought to have at least one, Roxas thought gloomily as he gingerly picked up the shards of glass from Axel's latest handiwork. He tuned out Axel's wailing, thinking of how unfair it was for him to be stuck picking up after a little kid's mess instead of attending to more important things like killing off more Heartless. But it wouldn't be as fun, he supposed, if he didn't have Axel around to watch his back and eat sea-salt ice cream with once the mission was over…

He snapped out of his thoughts when Axel squatted next to him and made to pick up a broken piece of the bowl. Impeding the child's attempt, Roxas shot his hand out and pushed him back. "You'll cut yourself. Just sit over there; I'll handle this."

Axel slowly stood to his full height, which was barely level with the kneeling blonde's head. "Are you mad at me?" he asked apprehensively.

Roxas stared at his friend, mesmerized at the sheer _emotion_ teeming in the large green eyes—guilt and fear and timid repentance. Such a sight would never have been possible if it were the normal Axel. He wondered if Axel's Other had been like this as a child.

But it didn't really have anything to do with Axel's Other, did it? Because Axel was a Nobody. Axel had never been a kid…

And this child never should have existed. This child had no memory whatsoever of whom he used to be. He was vulnerable and cutesy and helpless and _just not Axel,_ not the Axel that took Roxas months of exercised patience to tolerate and accept, not the Axel who never gave him a straight answer but was the only person who gave him one regardless, not the Axel who obnoxiously took hold of the title of Roxas' best friend.

Roxas really shouldn't care, but Larxene's voice was ringing in his ears—_get another partner_—and he wished that he had the old Axel back.

"You're really mad at me, aren't you?" the child said, almost to himself, softly but steadily as if he were repressing the urge to cry.

Roxas was silent. He didn't know—couldn't remember—what to do if a kid cried. The real Axel wouldn't, if Roxas were mad at him. Axel would laugh and make some smart-assed comment about Roxas not being capable of getting mad at him for long, because they were best friends and Roxas didn't have anybody to substitute him for, anyway. Roxas gazed long and hard at this kid-Axel, this tiny, weak thing that could so easily be swayed by a subtle change in Roxas' temper.

Roxas really, really shouldn't care, but he didn't want another partner, and he would do everything that was necessary until the old Axel came back. "I'm not mad at you."

Axel's face looked confused for a split-second, and then it practically _glowed._ "Really?"

"Yeah." Roxas could feel himself smiling. It was absurd, but Axel's emotions seemed real, and somehow that made it easier for Roxas to _feel._ Or pretend to feel. There didn't seem to be much of a difference between the two, if he thought about it. At least, when he was with Axel. Normal or not.

"Great! But I'm still hungry, Roxes," Axel whined, smile instantaneously morphing into a grimace that didn't come across as unpleasant, because he was a kid, and kids could usually pull off looking cute whatever expression they wore.

"It's Rox_as_," Roxas corrected automatically, ruffling Axel's wild red hair.

"Uh-huh. I know, I've got it mem'rized," Axel said huffily. When Roxas shot him a look of surprise, he added proudly, "I learned that word from that mean old guy who locked me up 'n that weird-smelling room! I thought he wuz gonna keep me there _forever._ He wuz shouting at me when I was jus' playing with the insinirater 'cause I threw a couple of his books 'n there and he said I wuz a—umm, I didn' get what he said 'cause it was a hard word and I dun know it—and then he said somethin' about digging a grave even if there weren' no dead people in the funny-smelling room, just me and him an' we're both still alive. He said there wuz stuff in the books that wuz vaitle to the medicine he wuz gonna give me and he couldn' mem'rize it all so I wuz in big trouble—whut's a vaitle, anyway? So I told him I'm not sick, maybe _he_ wuz sick 'cause his face was goin' all blue like that other man's hair, I thought he wuz okay, 'cause he didn't yell at me like the mean old guy and…"

Roxas grabbed Axel's hand and absentmindedly summoned a dark portal as he listened to the child's continuous rambling. Axel suddenly hugged his leg, startled at the swirling purplish-black smoke that appeared out of nowhere, and Roxas laid a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "This is a shortcut. We're going to get some ice cream. You like ice cream, Axel?"

Axel grinned. "Yep! I thought you'd _never_ get around to givin' me _real_ food."

"Don't worry, this is the last time I'm going to force you to eat something the mean old guy gives me," Roxas answered.

Axel made a face. "Bleargh! No wunder it looked funny!"

Roxas laughed. Maybe having this Axel around for just a bit longer wouldn't be so bad.

**tbc**


	2. the nature of nonexistence

**Chapter 2 – the nature of nonexistence**

The door swung shut behind Roxas a little too loudly and he stilled, expecting to hear a whiny child's cries from the other side.

It was still silent. Sighing in relief, Roxas walked away from his room, making quiet, measured steps that wouldn't echo unnecessarily in the empty corridor.

Tiredly running a hand through his blonde locks, he winced and remembered the way that Axel had viciously pulled at them the first time Roxas had tried to get up from his bed thirty minutes ago. In the end, he had had to whack the back of Axel's head with the blunt end of Oblivion to (literally) get the kid out of his hair. He tried not to feel too guilty about it—after all, he had _told_ Axel earlier on that he had to answer the Superior's summons and that Axel might as well take a nap while he was away.

Xemnas might not be too happy to find out that Roxas could have quite possibly caused permanent brain damage in one of his more combat-competent recruits, though.

"Hey, brat," a voice called. He looked up and saw Larxene approaching, a languid smirk on her lips. "Hm? What's this? Your little shadow's missing. Finally got sick of him, huh?"

Roxas glared and stalked past her without a word, bristling as her derisive laughter reverberated through the walls behind him.

The thing that really irked him was that Larxene's taunts weren't entirely off base. Axel always followed him around, never wanting to let Roxas out of his sight even for a few moments. He would be sullenly silent whenever the other members talked to Roxas, but morphed into a hyperactive chatterbox as soon as their colleagues vanished into the portals of darkness they conjured. Roxas knew that Axel was his responsibility and that he had to keep tabs on him until he got back to normal, and he admitted that spending time with him was…fun…but this mission—this cumbersome _chore_—wasn't what he signed up for. Ever since he joined the Organization, he had always set his sights on getting answers. Knowing the truth about who he was and why the older members kept skirting around the issue that he was different…_special_. Sometimes, in the past, Axel would humor him and tell him a piece of what he wanted to know in a roundabout and ambiguous fashion that irritated him to no end. Spoon feeding and singing lullabies (not that Roxas would be caught dead singing some stupid nursery rhyme to Axel) wouldn't get him the answers he wanted.

It didn't help that every moment he spent with the kid-Axel added even more questions to the ones he already had. Xemnas told him that Nobodies didn't have emotions, so how come _this_ Axel could cry and laugh, be sulky and temperamental when Roxas attempted to leave him for a second? And how could he explain the fact that he could sometimes _feel,_ as if this Axel was rubbing off on him? None of it made any sense.

The door to the Organization's briefing room came into view, and Roxas halted before it apprehensively, wondering what he had been called here for. Was it possible that Vexen had finally perfected the cure for Axel's condition? He knocked three times and waited. "Enter," a deep, regal voice commanded from the other side, and Roxas stepped into the room.

"You are not quite as punctual as before, Roxas," Xemnas observed as Roxas closed the door behind him.

Roxas bowed slightly in a gesture of apology. "It was hard to get Axel to sleep," he muttered, trying not to think about how his scalp was still smarting until now.

Xemnas' eyes glinted in mild interest. "I trust that he is well? Vexen has set explicit conditions imperative to Number VIII's recovery, one of which is that he must not sustain any injuries upon drinking the remedy. "

Yep, definitely not going to tell Xemnas about sicking Oblivion on Axel's head anytime soon. "He's fine," Roxas answered shortly.

"Some of our colleagues have remarked upon his peculiar behavior," Xemnas continued, his expression amused. "They seem to be under the impression that he has grown attached to you. Although that is hardly surprising, considering how often you were together even before this unfortunate incidence occurred…"

Roxas simply stayed silent, not quite comprehending what he was expected to say in response to a comment like that. He wished that Xemnas would hurry up and tell him why he had to be here so he could go back already and check if Axel hadn't gotten kidnapped—

Check if Axel hadn't burned his room down, he meant. He wasn't feeling any real concern for the kid, really—oh, who was he kidding?

"Much as I would like you to continue this enjoyably domestic way of living," Xemnas continued, eliciting a scowl from Roxas, "Axel's situation has forced our Organization to be two pairs of hands short, and I need not tell you of the repercussions such an inconvenience will inevitably cause. Getting straight to the point—" Roxas sighed in relief, oh _good_, there had been a point, "—I require you to go to a world that Lexaeus has recently chanced upon. You will scout the area—take note of all inhabitants, both docile and malign—and if it is within your capabilities, dispose of any Heartless you encounter. That is all." He waved his hand in the universal gesture of dismissal.

Roxas blinked in confusion, feeling like he was missing something. "But—sir, what about Axel?"

Xemnas gave him a patronizing look, as if the answer to his question was obvious. "I shall arrange for someone else to attend to him. Naminé, perhaps… Or Larxene, as she has only recently come back from field work—"

"I'll take him to Naminé," Roxas said hurriedly, his mind already conjuring mental images of Larxene laughing shrilly as she used Axel as target practice for her knife-throwing skills. It was not a viable option.

"Very well. Leave Axel in Naminé's care, then immediately proceed to your mission."

Roxas hesitated as Xemnas turned around and gazed out the window, up at the heart-shaped moon that was the fruit of all their efforts. "Sir? If Axel isn't back to normal when I come back—"

Xemnas' reflection in the glass was blocked from Roxas' view, but Roxas could hear the sympathy in the silver-haired man's voice as he responded, "You will resume the task of watching over him."

Roxas bit his lip. He had just told himself that he wanted more missions, so why did he feel so relieved? "Yes, sir."

"Is that all, Number XIII?"

"…yes…"

"Then you are dismissed."

* * *

Ten minutes later, Roxas was climbing up a spiraling set of stairs, carrying a half-asleep Axel in his arms. Axel's head rested on Roxas' shoulder, eyelashes fluttering with Roxas' every step up.

It occurred to Roxas that he could have just used a portal straight to the tower where Naminé resided, but as Axel's deep, even breathing ghosted against his ear, pleasant and oddly comforting, he found that he didn't mind the unnecessary exercise.

He didn't expect to see Naminé waiting at the doorway when he came up. "Hello, Roxas," Naminé greeted, glancing first at Roxas and then at the sleeping child in his arms.

"Naminé," Roxas answered, stepping past her into the room that was completely white save for the badly charred corner where kid-Axel had discovered the practical application of matchsticks. Roxas winced as his blue eyes lingered on the scorch marks on the floor.

"Marluxia came here yesterday," Naminé told him. Looking at her made Roxas think of the delicate porcelain dolls he had seen in a shop window of a world he had gone to, once. He wasn't completely assured that she could take care of Axel… "He didn't get mad when he saw the burns, but he said that if I want it back the way it was, Axel has to fix it after he's cured."

"I'll make sure he does that," Roxas assured her dryly, shifting Axel's weight in his arms.

"You can put him down over there," Naminé said, pointing at her bed. She watched as Roxas carefully laid Axel down, his black coat and red hair a stark contrast to the snow-colored sheets around him. Axel rolled onto his side and curled into a ball, murmuring something incoherent before falling back asleep. Roxas perched himself on the edge of the bed and smiled slightly as he brushed a few stray strands of red hair from Axel's face.

The sound of quiet chuckling broke him out of his stupor. "What?" he asked, whipping around to see Naminé demurely covering her mouth with her hand.

Naminé put her hands behind her back and leaned forward, an action that Roxas found uncannily familiar for some reason. "Nothing. It's just that you two look so sweet together." She smiled as Roxas glared, unappreciative of how the word "sweet" was associated with him. "You're like a parent tucking your child into bed."

"I am not," Roxas protested as he stood up, uncomfortably aware of the heat rising in his cheeks. "Look, just—just keep an eye on him. If he's hungry, get him something that he likes to eat, but don't give him anything that he can choke on. And if he's bored, play with him and go along with whatever he wants to do as long as it doesn't involve setting something on fire. Sometimes he throws a fit for no reason; if he does that, then you should—"

"I'll handle it, Roxas," Naminé interrupted gently. When Roxas simply looked dubious, Naminé laid a hand on his arm. "It'll be fine."

Roxas glanced at Axel's sleeping form before his eyes met Naminé's. "Okay," he said, more as an assurance to himself than to her, "okay." He mechanically conjured a portal, and he was already halfway into it when he stopped short. "If he looks for me—"

"I'll tell him you went out and that you'll give him a surprise if he stays well-behaved before you come back," Naminé answers evenly. "_Don't worry,_ Roxas. Bye, and take care. Axel's going to be right here when you get back."

"I'm not worried. I'm not capable of worrying," Roxas pointed out defensively. He wasn't able to get another word in edgewise as the black mist swallowing him whole.

Naminé watched as the wisps of black smoke gradually faded. "Of course you aren't," she said sadly to the spot where Roxas had been.

Behind her, Axel started to stir. The child groggily sat up, turning his head slowly around the room until his eyes fell upon the waifish girl gazing intently at him. "Where's Roxes?" he asked.

Naminé took a deep breath and smiled. The truth was, Axel never threw a fit without a reason, contrary to what Roxas believed. And she knew why.

Roxas was Axel's security blanket. Without Roxas, Axel was a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. It baffled Naminé. This Axel's capability of expressing false emotion was probably the most advanced she had ever encountered, and it was theoretically impossible because he had no memories whatsoever to assimilate them from. She should know—she was the one who had to look for the nonexistent recollections when Xigbar brought Axel to her six days ago.

Whatever behavioral peculiarities Axel was exhibiting, it was all due to Roxas.

"Where's Roxes?" Axel repeated, his huge green eyes narrowing into slits.

Naminé stared thoughtfully at Axel, and for a moment she wondered what envy felt like, because that was what she thought she would be feeling at that moment, if she had a heart. She went over to Axel and clasped his small hands in hers. She might not have any memories of her own, but she knew just as well as Axel that Roxas was an exception to the norm. "He went out to get a surprise for you," she responded softly, not missing how Axel's posture slackened at her words.

Naminé didn't have memories, but she knew what loneliness looked like, having lived it for as long as she had existed. She drew Axel into a hug and stroked his hair comfortingly. "He'll be back before you know it."

* * *

People with hearts were markedly different from Nobodies, Roxas thought, as he got a bird's eye view of the children playing in front of Twilight Town's train station. He was watching them from his and Axel's usual spot on the clock tower, and for a moment he wished he had brought Axel with him after his mission ended. The view wasn't quite the same without him making smart comments on why the days were shorter during winter or why the sun was red at dusk.

Axel knew pretty much everything about anything that had to do with fire. Yesterday, it was Roxas who had to explain to Axel the very same thing that the redhead had told Roxas a week before, which was how red light traveled farther than any other color in the spectrum, and thus the reason why the sun stained the sky red at twilight.

Roxas didn't know what children with hearts liked to talk about. He leaned forward and tried to look closer at the people milling about below, straining his ears for snatches of conversation.

The children's chattering was indecipherable, but there was one small girl to the side who was clinging to a man wearing a business suit, and her bawling was loud enough for even Roxas to hear.

"Don't go, Papa!" she screamed, beating at his leg with her tiny fists.

"Shh, it's okay, Papa will be back in two days," the man was saying. "Papa will bring back a present for you! Wouldn't you like that?"

"P-promise?" the little girl sniffed, loosening her hold on his pant leg.

The man smiled fondly at his daughter. "Promise."

"O-okay…" the child said reluctantly, stepping back. "But I don't need a present, Papa. I just want you to come back like you said you would."

The man laughed. "Silly girl, of course I'll come back! Your Papa can't live long without his precious little Annika, can he?"

Roxas tuned out the rest of their words, simply observing how the child's face went from distressed to hopeful to happy in a matter of seconds. How could something so trivial elicit so many emotions from her? Was it because she had a heart?

He remembered watching a similar scene with Axel before.

_Axel laughed, the kind of laugh that made Roxas feel like an idiot who didn't know anything at all. Roxas rolled his eyes as he contemplated throwing the remains of his sea-salt ice cream at the redhead._

_"Those people aren't like us, Roxas," Axel finally said after he had calmed down. "See, part of having a heart means cherishing something to the point that parting with it becomes hard for them."_

_Roxas frowned. "I don't get it. So what if his mother has to go away for a week? She's going to be back after that anyway."_

_Axel shook his head. "He'll miss her when she's not there."_

_"Why would he?"_

_Axel shrugged. "I don't know. Because he loves her?"_

_Roxas said nothing for a long while. "Do you remember what that feels like?" he finally asked, absently turning over the popsicle stick in his hands._

_Axel let out a snort. "No," he said dismissively. "It's not like I need to."_

_Roxas contemplated that statement, like he always did whenever the subject of emotions, or lack thereof, came up. He was always the one who asked the questions, and it was always Axel who gave the answers. And then Roxas would dissect everything that Axel said, thinking that if he did it long enough, even a single shred of comprehension would dawn on him._

_It never did, though._

_Axel smirked as he tossed his popsicle stick into the air and let it fall down into the depths below them. "So, Roxas, would you miss_ me _if I had to go on a long mission in a distant world?"_

_It was Roxas' turn to snort. "Why would I?"_

_"Gee, Roxas, you really know how to put a guy down," Axel laughed, and this time Roxas laughed with him._

Roxas realized that he had spaced out, staring at the sunset. Glancing back down, he saw that the man was no longer there and that his daughter was smiling sadly in the direction of the glass doors, rubbing furiously at her eyes. An image of a crying child-Axel flashed unbidden into his mind.

He sighed and stood up. It was about time that he headed back.

* * *

"Roxes, where'd you go?"

"Somewhere."

"Tha's a weird name for a place. Didja play there? Why didn' you let me come with you?"

"I didn't play, Axel. It was work."

"Oh. Wha's your job?"

"…collecting hearts."

"Why?"

"Because I need to."

"Why?"

"Because the Superior says so."

"Why?"

"Because if we get enough hearts we'll have our own back someday."

"Why?"

"Because we don't have hearts."

"Why?"

"Because we didn't have them when we were made."

"Why?"

"Because most of us only have memories. And they're not even ours. And we can't feel."

"We can't?"

"No, we can't."

"Why?"

"…Axel, shut up and go to sleep."

"Why?"

"Just sleep."

"But I'm not sleepy!"

"I didn't say you were."

"So why—?"

"_Sleep."_

"..."

"I'm not a Nobody."

"…Axel…"

"I'm not! 'Cause I can feel stuff. Sometimes I think there's somethin' wrong in my chest, like it's cold and there's nothing there."

"…that's exactly what not feeling is like."

"Nuh uh! Tha's just what I feel when I'm with the mean old guy. And those other guys, with the funny hair. _Your_ hair's funny too, Roxes, but you're not like them."

"If you say so."

"I do! I feel lotsa stuff when I'm with you. Not nothin'. I dun like not feeling anythin'. 'Cause it's just cold and dark and gross. But you're like…like…that big glowy red thing you showed me when we wuz eating ice cream! All warm and lightey and stuff. I dun feel like it's dark and scary when you're here."

"Mm."

"Uh huh. But when you wuz collecting hearts and I wuz with that girl who could draw real good, it felt all cold again. I really dun like that. You're not gonna go away again, are you, Roxes?"

"Maybe."

"Dun go! Dun you like me anymore? 'Cause I like you, Roxes. You're cool."

"…I like you too, Axel."

"Great! So you're never gonna leave me again, right?"

"…I don't know."

"Dun say you dunno! Promise!"

"Promises are for people with hearts."

"Whut? Didja say something? Speak louder!"

"I promise, Axel."

"Yay!!"

"What the—Axel, get _off_."

"Dun wanna."

"G'night Roxes!"

"…'night, Axel."

**tbc**

* * *

School is hectic right now, so I'm not quite sure when the next chapter will be up. Until then, any feedback on the story will be graciously welcomed. :)


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